{"id":8780,"date":"2020-06-24T19:27:19","date_gmt":"2020-06-24T19:27:19","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.umorlagurahumorului.ro\/?page_id=8780"},"modified":"2020-07-21T21:26:41","modified_gmt":"2020-07-21T21:26:41","slug":"premianti-epigrama-1998","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/www.umorlagurahumorului.ro\/en\/editii\/editia-08-1998\/premianti-epigrama-1998\/","title":{"rendered":"Epigram winners 1998"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n

1st Prize – Vasile Vajoga<\/h4>\n
\nMotto: \u201cAdieri de primavar\u0103\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

Subven\u021bia (defini\u021bie)<\/strong>
\nSubven\u021bia, la o adic\u0103
\nE-un soi ciudat de greutate
\nPe care uniii o ridic\u0103
\n\u0218i-o las\u0103 altora \u00een spate …<\/p>\n

Unui croitor<\/strong>
\nMi-a spus z\u00e2mbind c\u00e2nd am intrat pe u\u0219\u0103:
\n-Costumu-\u021bi va veni ca o m\u0103nu\u0219\u0103!
\n\u0218i \u2013 avea dreptate, fiindc\u0103 nicidecum
\nCostumul nu-mi venea ca un costum.<\/p>\n

Urare pascal\u0103<\/strong>
\nC\u00e2nd am\u00e2ndoi ne-am \u00eent\u00e2lnit
\n\u0218i-mi spuse \u201cPa\u0219te fericit!\u201d
\nAm replicat \u0219i eu la fel:
\nL-am \u00eendemnat s\u0103 pasc\u0103 el!<\/p>\n

Unui stomatolog bugetar<\/strong>
\nProtezei c\u00e2nd \u00eei ia m\u0103sura,
\n\u00cenlocuind principiul vechi,
\nEl nu mai spune \u201cCasc\u0103 gura!\u201d
\nCi spune: \u201cMi\u0219c\u0103 din urechi!\u201d<\/p>\n

Toamna (defini\u021bie)<\/strong>
\nE timpul c\u00e2nd \u00eembrac\u0103 \u021bara
\nCulori ce-au fascinat poe\u021bii
\n\u0218i c\u00e2nd se umple iar c\u0103mara
\nCu … mucegai pe to\u021bi pere\u021bii!<\/p>\n

Roman\u021b\u0103 de mai<\/strong>
\n\u00cen noaptea cu parfum de liliac,
\nDe-o blond\u0103 cu privirea ca cicoarea
\nAm fost corupt acum un sfert de veac
\n\u0218i isp\u0103\u0219esc \u0219i ast\u0103zi condamnarea!<\/p>\n

Potentatul<\/strong>
\nE aparent un \u201com de bine\u201d
\n\u0218i consecvent moralei noi
\nCe are p\u00e2inea (pentru sine)
\nC\u00e2t \u0219i cu\u021bitul (pentru noi).<\/p>\n

Tandre\u021bi conjugale<\/strong>
\nCa dovad\u0103 c\u0103-s firi calme
\n\u0218i au maniere fine,
\nEa \u00eel \u021bine ca pe palme;
\n\u0218i el tot \u00een palme-o \u021bine!<\/p>\n

Epitaf unui prost<\/strong>
\nZace \u00eentre patru sc\u00e2nduri
\nInsul cu idei infime
\nCe-a murit c\u0103z\u00e2nd pe g\u00e2nduri
\nDe la mare \u00een\u0103l\u021bime …<\/p>\n

\u0218amponul (defini\u021bie)<\/strong>
\nFlaconul cu reclame din dulap,
\nUmplut cu-n fel de detergent modern
\nCe-\u021bi cur\u0103\u021b\u0103 mizeria din cap
\n(Cu men\u021binea \u201cpentru uz extern\u201d).<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n

\n

\u0218amponul (defini\u021bie)<\/strong>
\nFlaconul cu reclame din dulap,
\nUmplut cu-n fel de detergent modern
\nCe-\u021bi cur\u0103\u021b\u0103 mizeria din cap
\n(Cu men\u021binea \u201cpentru uz extern\u201d).<\/p>\n

D\u2019ale modei<\/strong>
\nLa cal sau porc, de \u00eei observ profund,
\nV\u0103d c\u0103 le cre\u0219te coada de la fund.
\nA lui e de la cap, dar \u00een esen\u021b\u0103,
\nConstat c\u0103 nu e nici o diferen\u021b\u0103!<\/p>\n

Um spiro …<\/strong>
\nDorind s\u0103-\u0219i schimbe ambian\u021ba
\n(La cota vie\u021biii m\u0103 refer),
\nTr\u0103iesc rom\u00e2nii cu speran\u021ba
\n… \u00centru-n perpetuuum adulter!<\/p>\n

Ghici ce-i?<\/strong>
\nO vezi \u00een c\u00e2te-un bar \u2013 cafe
\nSorbind cu sete \u0219i avan
\nCu paiul, un Aligote,
\nCu ochii, un Ali \u2013 Hassan!<\/p>\n

Agravare …<\/strong>
\nAm constatat o treab\u0103 curioas\u0103:
\nC\u00e2nd doctorii-n spital m\u0103 internar\u0103,
\nM-au scos, ce-i drept, din criz\u0103 ulceroas\u0103,
\nDar m-au b\u0103gat \u00een cea financiar\u0103.<\/p>\n

Instantaneu \u00eentr-un restaurant<\/strong>
\nC\u00e2nd osp\u0103tarului i-am spus c\u0103
\n\u00cen \u0219pri\u021bul din pahar e-o musc\u0103,
\nS\u0103ri \u021b\u00e2fnos \u0219i iritat:
\n-P\u0103i n-a\u021bi cerut un vin muscat??!<\/p>\n

Unui potentat<\/strong>
\n\u00cen cazul s\u0103u afirm \u0219i-o fac solemn:
\nEl ca alc\u0103tuire-i ideal
\nC\u0103, asortat la limba-i cea de lemn,
\nNici capul nu-i din alt material!<\/p>\n

Vigilen\u021b\u0103<\/strong>
\nLivada \u00eenflorit\u0103 \u2013 arat\u0103 trist
\nC-a ciom\u0103git-o domnul poli\u021bist,
\nC\u00e2nd i s-a explicat, la reciclare,
\nC\u0103 azi, la noi, corup\u021bia \u2013i \u00een floare!…<\/p>\n

Amintiri …<\/strong>
\nB\u0103tr\u00e2nei r\u00e2vnind la glorii,
\nBrusc descoperindu-\u0219i harul,
\nScriu tot felul de \u201cMemorii\u201d
\nC\u00e2nd \u00eei las\u0103 … singularul!<\/p>\n

Dayton<\/strong>
\nTo\u021bi urm\u0103rind un scop umanitar,
\nAu adoptat m\u0103suri spre a-l sus\u021bine:
\nEi, contra minei antipersonal,
\nNoi, contra personalului din mine.<\/p>\n

Dialog la \u201cTrei iazuri\u201d<\/strong>
\nChelneri\u021ba m\u0103 vr\u0103je\u0219te
\n(Mini, ten fardat strident …)
\n-Ce dori\u021bi? \u2013Ave\u021bi un pe\u0219te?
\n-N-am! … lucrez independent!<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div>\n

\n

2nd Prize – Gheorghe Suciu<\/h4>\n
\nJUSTIFICARE<\/strong>
\nNu am ca-n basme un covor
\nPe care s\u0103 o duc \u00een zbor
\nDar nu se poate pl\u00e2nge soa\u021ba …
\nCu pre\u0219u-am dus-o toat\u0103 via\u021ba.<\/p>\n

EU \u0218I ION \u021aIRIAC<\/strong>
\n\u021airiac \u0219i eu, poetul,
\nF\u0103r\u2019 s\u0103 \u0219tiu jucam tandem:
\nEl \u00ee\u0219i ia prin banc\u0103 setul
\nEu, \u00eel fac pe dracul ghem!<\/p>\n

GRIJA FA\u021a\u0102 DE P\u0102RIN\u021aI<\/strong>
\nC\u00e2nd fu \u201codorul\u201d s\u0103 se-nsoare
\nVeni cu ochi ]nl[crima\u2019i
\n\u0218i-\u00eentreb\u0103 cu-ngrijorare:
\n-Voi, tata, unde o s\u0103 sta\u021bi?<\/p>\n

Spre lini\u0219tirea unui invidios<\/strong>
\nCum v\u0103d c\u0103 intri la \u201e idei\u201d
\nZadarnc s\u0103 te zba\u021bi nu vreau;
\nCe aqm, nicic\u00e2nd nu po\u021bi s\u0103-mi iei,
\nCe n-ai, oricum nu pot s\u0103-\u021bi dau!<\/p>\n

BUSOLA TRANZI\u021aIEI<\/strong>
\nOricum o-ntorci \u0219i-o \u021bii \u00een m\u00e2n\u0103
\nS\u0103 cau\u021bi drumul \u00eenspre VEST
\nBusola asta e nebun\u0103!
\nArat\u0103 \u00eentotdeauna EST!<\/p>\n

UNEI TINERE VIOLONISTE<\/strong>
\nE\u0219ti foarte scherzo domni\u0219oar\u0103
\n\u00cenc\u00e2t m\u0103 bate un g\u00e2nd ghidu\u0219
\nLa trupul t\u0103u ca o vioar\u0103
\nAllegro o s\u0103-\u021bi fiu arcu\u0219!<\/p>\n

UNUI INFATUAT<\/strong>
\nC\u00e2nd \u00ee\u0219i \u00eencalec\u0103 \u201e Pegasul\u201d
\nTe po\u021bi ab\u021bine s\u0103 nu spui?
\nO, Zei! Mai \u00een\u0103l\u021ba\u021bi Parnasul
\nS-ajung\u0103 \u0219i la nasul lui!<\/p>\n

REFLEC\u021aIE<\/strong>
\nSuntem to\u021bi f\u0103cu\u021bi din hum\u0103.
\nTrece \u201cvalul\u201d peste noi.
\nDin pu\u021bini se-alege \u201cspum\u0103\u201d
\nIar din cei mai mul\u021bi … NOROI!<\/p>\n

PAROLISTUL<\/strong>
\nBe\u021bia dragostei el i-a promis
\nAtunci c\u00e2nd de so\u021bie a cerut-o
\n\u0218i n-a f\u0103cut de-atunci un compromis
\nC\u0103 tot \u00eentr-o be\u021bie a \u021binut-o!<\/p>\n

AJUTOR RECIPROC<\/strong>
\nTurcia s\u0103 nu sucombe
\nFacem schimburi belicoase
\nEa ne-aduce-n \u021bar\u0103 bombe
\nNoi i-asigur\u0103m focoase!<\/p>\n

DEMOCRA\u021aIA<\/strong>
\nMarc\u0103 rar\u0103, o prefa\u021b\u0103,
\nLa un plic preten\u021bios
\nUnii o lipesc pe fa\u021b\u0103 …
\nNoi o aplic\u0103m pe dos.<\/p>\n

REPUBLICA MOLDOVA<\/strong>
\nSeam\u0103n\u0103 cu o mireas\u0103
\nCe, mai vrea, mai nu se las\u0103,
\nIar s-o iei cu anas\u00e2na
\nN-\u021bi d\u0103 m\u00e2na!<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n

\n

CAPRA TRANZI\u021aIEI<\/strong>
\nCiudat\u0103 e, miroase a protest,
\nPozi\u021bia luat\u0103 la nevoi.
\nCu cornul abunden\u021bei \u00eenspre VEST
\n\u0218i coada ridicat\u0103 \u00eenspre noi.<\/p>\n

DIVIZIUNEA MUNCII<\/strong>
\nLa noi domne\u0219te-n cas\u0103 armonia
\nC\u0103ci toate sarcinile-s \u00eemp\u0103r\u021bite.
\nLa vase \u0219i la crati\u021b\u0103, so\u021bia,
\nIar eu cu mama soacr\u0103 … la cu\u021bite.<\/p>\n

LA SOSIREA \u00ceN UNITATE<\/strong>
\nC\u00e2nd m\u0103 \u00eentorc de la restaurant
\nT\u00e2rziu \u0219i cam de tot dispre\u021bul
\nSo\u021bia d\u0103 ONOR LA COMANDANT
\nB\u0103t\u00e2nd cu palma f\u0103c\u0103le\u021bul.<\/p>\n

BR\u00c2NCU\u0218IAN\u0102<\/strong>
\nPrecum e Coloana de dreapt\u0103
\nTranzi\u021bia-i f\u0103r\u0103 sf\u00e2r\u0219it
\nIar Masa T\u0103cerii a\u0219teapt\u0103
\nS\u0103 treac\u0103 \u0219i ea-n infinit.<\/p>\n

8 MARTIE \u0218I INFLA\u021aIA<\/strong>
\nZiua ce \u00eemi d\u0103 fiori,
\nC\u00e2nd de\u0219i s\u0103rac lipit
\nEu \u00eei cump\u0103r soacrei flori …
\nDe coroan\u0103 nu-mi permit!<\/p>\n

AMICILOR MEI<\/strong>
\nAmicii mei, c\u00e2nd n-o mai fi s\u0103 fiu
\nC\u0103-mi va suna \u0219i cel din urm\u0103 ceas,
\nVeni\u021bi c\u00e2t mai aproape de sicriu …
\nS\u0103 v\u0103 mai dau o dat\u0103 peste nas!<\/p>\n

EPIGRAMISTULUI ION MORARU CARE A AFIRMAT C\u0102 NU- S DE NASUL LUI<\/strong>
\nEu nu-s a\u0219a l\u0103ud\u0103ros
\nDar pot pe nasul t\u0103u s\u0103 merg,
\nC\u0103 nu e\u0219ti cel dint\u00e2i mucos
\nCe vii la mine s\u0103 \u021bi-l \u0219terg.<\/p>\n

LA DEMITEREA D-LUI B\u0102SESCU<\/strong>
\nGlumeau ginecologii la \u0219uet\u0103,
\nC\u0103 Ciorbea prim \u2013 ministru-n mod barbar
\n\u0218i-a folosit stiloul drept chiuret\u0103,
\nS\u0103-l fac\u0103 pe B\u0103sescu … marinar!<\/p>\n

UNUI ACTIVIST Z\u00c2MB\u0102RE\u021a<\/strong>
\nPe la congrese \u0219i plenare,
\nDin to\u021bi conduc\u0103torii vechi,
\nAu fost destui cu gura mare…
\nDar nu \u0219i p\u00e2n\u0103 la urechi!<\/p>\n

D-LUI NICOLAE V\u0102C\u0102ROIU<\/strong>
\nDistribuit de Trahanache,
\n\u00cen dublu rol el a jucat.
\n\u0218i Agami\u021b\u0103 Dandanache
\n\u0218i Cet\u0103\u021beanul turmentat!<\/p>\n

FAMILIAL\u0102<\/strong>
\nLa vecini e ceart\u0103 mare
\nPentru felul de m\u00e2ncare.
\nLini\u0219te apoi ca-n Bellu
\nI-a f\u0103cut nebuna felul!<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div>\n

\n

3rd Prize – Elis R\u00e2peanu<\/h4>\n
\n1.PUTEREA FRUMUSE\u021aII BUCOVINENCELOR<\/strong>
\nV\u0103z\u00e2nd asemenea f\u0103ptur\u0103 \u2013
\nCe trup \u00eenalt, ce ochi, ce gur\u0103! \u2013
\nS-a convertit \u0219i Dumnezeu
\n\u0218i-a devenit \u0219i El ateu.<\/p>\n

2.CONIACUL<\/strong>
\nNu-i soldat c\u0103 e gradat,
\nNu e om, da-i cum se cade
\n\u0218i de mul\u021bi e salutat,
\nAre foarte multe grade.<\/p>\n

3.CELOR CE CONDAMN\u0102 \u201eDAMELE\u201d<\/strong>
\nC\u00e2nd spre ele-ndrep\u021bi indexul,
\nUi\u021bi un adev\u0103r de baz\u0103
\nNu scornir\u0103 ele sexul,
\nCi \u00eel perfec\u021bioneaz\u0103.<\/p>\n

4.SP\u0102LATUL RUFELOR<\/strong>
\n\u0218tim cu to\u021bi c\u0103 rufa, de-i murdar\u0103,
\n\u00cen cas\u0103-o speli, cu detergent.
\nMai nou, se murd\u0103re\u0219te-n \u021bar\u0103
\n\u0218i-apoi se spal\u0103-n Occident.<\/p>\n

5.INFIDELITATEA ORIC\u0102REI SO\u021aII<\/strong>
\nC\u00e2nd se-ntinde \u2013n pat alene,
\nE sedus\u0103 de-alt b\u0103rbat.
\nVine Ene pe la gene \u2013
\nMo\u0219ul cel mai bun la pat.<\/p>\n

6.M\u0102SURA TIMPULUI<\/strong>
\nSe plimb\u0103 t\u00e2rziu cu Dora
\n\u0218i, cu pa\u0219ii tot mai rari,
\nEl o-ntreab\u0103 c\u00e2t e ora,
\nEa r\u0103spunde \u00een dolari.<\/p>\n

7.AUTENTIC\u0102<\/strong>
\nC\u00e2nd tomul \u00eemi era pe drum,
\nSo\u021bia m\u0103-ntreba mereu:
\nMai to\u021bi n\u0103rozii au volum,
\nTu ce a\u0219tepti, iubitul meu?<\/p>\n

8.FO\u0218NETE<\/strong>
\nChiar iubirile model
\nSunt de zboruri v\u0103muite.
\nAripile bat la fel,
\nDar \u00een piepturi diferite.<\/p>\n

9.DIREC\u021aIE SCHIMBAT\u0102<\/strong>
\nUrl\u00e2nd c\u0103 el e \u0219ef \u00een cas\u0103,
\nSe jur\u0103-n m\u00e2n\u0103 c-un ciomag
\nC\u0103 pune de- azi picioru-n prag
\n\u0218i-l puse, \u00eens\u0103 ca s\u0103 ias\u0103.<\/p>\n

10.UNOR EPIGRAMI\u0218TI DE BINE<\/strong>
\nSunt epigrami\u0219ti de bine
\nCe, cu poanta lor \u00eenalt\u0103,
\nFie dau cu b\u00e2ta-n tine,
\nFie dau cu b\u00e2ta-n balt\u0103.<\/p>\n

11.SPITALUL \u0218I PALATUL VICTORIA<\/strong>
\nC\u00e2nd stau bolnavii c\u00e2te trei \u00een pat
\nC-at\u00e2t se-aloc\u0103 din buget \u2013
\nS\u0103 stea \u0219i DOMNII din Plat
\nCam c\u00e2te trei pe-un taburet.<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n

\n

12.C\u0102S\u0102TORI\u021aI CU CERTIFICAT<\/strong>
\nTineri, la hotel sosi\u021bi,
\nIau o camer\u0103 \u2013 am\u00e2ndoi
\nC\u0103 erau c\u0103s\u0103tori\u021bi:
\nEl de-un an \u0219i ea de doi.<\/p>\n

13.CRITICUL LITERAR \u00ceN TRANZI\u021aIE<\/strong>
\nLimbaju-i fin \u0219i onctuos,
\nDar mu\u0219c\u0103, vere, p\u00e2n\u2019 la os!
\nEra mai bine de \u2013 \u0219i p\u0103stra
\nLimbajul de pe c\u00e2nd l\u0103tra.<\/p>\n

14.IMPOZIT PE VENITUL GLOBAL<\/strong>
\nAfl\u00e2nd c\u0103-i musai s\u0103 declare \u2013
\nS\u0103 scrie-n fi\u0219\u0103 tot ce are \u2013
\nUn biet b\u0103tr\u00e2n fl\u0103m\u00e2nd se pl\u00e2nge:
\nS\u0103 scriu \u0219i zah\u0103rul din s\u00e2nge?<\/p>\n

15.ARTA CULINAR\u0102 A SO\u021aULUI<\/strong>
\nD\u00e2nsul \u0219tie s\u0103 prepare
\nC\u00e2nd so\u021bia e plecat\u0103
\nDoar trei feluri de m\u00e2ncare:
\nCrud\u0103, ars\u0103 \u0219i \u2013 afumat\u0103.<\/p>\n

16.ZBATERE \u00ceN INSECTAR<\/strong>
\nGeaba Domnii \u2013 \u0219i vor p\u0103stra
\nPrivilegii vechi de cast\u0103
\nC\u0103 femeia dac\u0103 vrea
\nFace din b\u0103rbat nevast\u0103.<\/p>\n

17.CIOLANE<\/strong>
\nRom\u00e2nul a v\u00e2nat ciolanul
\nDe cum sc\u0103p\u0103 un pic de rele
\n\u0218i \u2013 acum, c-a disp\u0103rut Tiranul,
\n\u00cei ies ciolanele prin piele.<\/p>\n

18.PARADOXUL CORUP\u021aIEI<\/strong>
\nJusti\u021biarii, domni de soi,
\nPe cin\u2019 s\u0103 trag\u0103 de urechi?
\n\u0218i-au zis \u00een cor c\u0103 ho\u021bii noi
\nSunt mai cinsti\u021bi ca ho\u021bii vechi.<\/p>\n

19.ATITUDINE NOU\u0102<\/strong>
\nDup\u0103 T. Mu\u0219atescu
\nDe-o vreme-n via\u021ba conjugal\u0103,
\nPurtarea mi-e mai b\u0103rb\u0103teasc\u0103,
\nDe-mi v\u0103d cumva so\u021bia goal\u0103
\nO \u00eenvelesc s\u0103 nu r\u0103ceasc\u0103.<\/p>\n

20.ADEV\u0102RUL DESPRE REVOLU\u021aIE<\/strong>
\nE plin\u0103 \u021bara de co\u021bcari
\n\u0218i lupul geaba-\u0219i schimb\u0103 p\u0103rul
\nC\u0103 mincino\u0219ii cei mai mari
\n\u0218tiu cel mai bine adev\u0103rul.<\/p>\n

21.LEGE VE\u0218NIC NOU\u0102<\/strong>
\nNoaptea-n col\u021b \u00ee\u021bi cer golanii
\nFie via\u021ba, fie banii.
\nSoa\u021ba are lege nou\u0103 \u2013
\n\u021ai le cere pe \u2013 am\u00e2ndou\u0103.<\/p>\n

22.MEDICII \u0218I COSMOSUL<\/strong>
\nDup\u0103 Montaigne
\nTo\u021bi medicii din lumea asta mare
\nLega\u021bi de Cosmos \u0219i de Terra sunt,
\nSucccesul lor e luminat de Soare,
\nGre\u0219eala-i astupat\u0103 de P\u0103m\u00e2nt.<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

1st Prize – Vasile Vajoga 2nd Prize – Gheorghe Suciu 3rd Prize – Elis R\u00e2peanu<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":8767,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-8780","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"yoast_head":"\nEpigram winners 1998 - Humour at .... Gura Humorului<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.umorlagurahumorului.ro\/editii\/editia-08-1998\/premianti-epigrama-1998\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"[:ro]Premianti epigrama 1998[:en]Epigram winners 1998[:] - Humour at .... 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