{"id":10048,"date":"2022-07-08T21:09:01","date_gmt":"2022-07-08T21:09:01","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.umorlagurahumorului.ro\/?page_id=10048"},"modified":"2022-07-08T22:13:11","modified_gmt":"2022-07-08T22:13:11","slug":"premianti-poezie-2022","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/www.umorlagurahumorului.ro\/en\/editii\/editia-32-2022\/premianti-poezie-2022\/","title":{"rendered":"Poetry winners 2022"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n

1st Prize – Daniel Bratu<\/h2>\n

Moto: “Fake, no fake, take it easy\u2026”<\/strong><\/p>\n

\n
<\/div>\nFake, Ianke \u0219i Cad\u00e2r<\/strong>
\n
<\/div>\n\u00cen lumea noastr\u0103-i lini\u0219te \u0219i pace,
\nne zboar\u0103 porumbeii peste plai,
\nne pup\u0103 muze-n frunte, tunul tace,
\ns\u0103rim s\u0103tui \u00een valul de m\u0103lai.<\/p>\n

Avem benzin\u0103-n cizme, motorina
\ne dat\u0103 contra gratis, na poftim!
\nne deplas\u0103m \u0219i-n curte cu ma\u0219ina
\niar gaze-avem at\u00e2tea c\u0103 plesnim.<\/p>\n

Nu-s maladii, e plin de s\u0103n\u0103tate
\ntot omu-n orice parte de p\u0103m\u00e2nt,
\nruine nu-s, ci falnice palate
\n\u0219i dracul gol e-n straiele de sf\u00e2nt.<\/p>\n

O cald\u0103 bucurie ne-mpresoar\u0103,
\nnici ceart\u0103 nu-i, durere ori suspin,
\ntr\u0103im \u00een armonii ca de vioar\u0103
\n\u0219i nemurim pu\u021bin c\u00e2te pu\u021bin.<\/p>\n

Nu-s bombe, ci o mie de bomboane
\nagricole plesnesc peste c\u0103r\u0103ri,
\nnu fug \u00een pribegie milioane,
\nci pleac\u0103-n sta\u021biune, la plimb\u0103ri.<\/p>\n

Nu sar spitale-n aer, ci se mut\u0103,
\ncumva, la un etaj superior,
\nbolnavii, c-o nevoie absolut\u0103
\nde-a fi cu Dumnezeu de partea lor.<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>

\n
<\/div>\n

Nu cad din cer rachetele meschine
\n\u0219i nu-i picaj al dronei \u00een c\u0103lduri,
\nci, pentru-Olimpiad\u0103, gospodine
\nfac tir c-un borc\u0103na\u0219 cu mur\u0103turi.<\/p>\n

Se veselesc vecinii \u00een h\u00e2rjoane,
\n\u0219i-n joac\u0103-s colonii de mincino\u0219i,
\nce-s prinse-n lupt\u0103 dreapt\u0103 cu plutoane
\nde babe cu platouri de gogo\u0219i.<\/p>\n

Eroi se nasc \u00eentruna \u0219i \u00eenvie,
\nca \u00eentr-un carambol universal
\n\u0219i-n via\u021ba asta bun\u0103, sine die,
\noricine moare-i caz fic\u021bional.<\/p>\n

Se pup\u0103 to\u021bi, evreii cu arabii,
\nnevestele cu pup\u0103za din tei,
\nchinezii cu texanii, gra\u0219i cu slabii,
\ncu ho\u021bii, pro\u0219tii. Ru\u0219ii, \u00eentre ei.<\/p>\n

E-o lini\u0219te cum n-a mai fost. \u0218i pace.
\nNatura \u00eenflore\u0219te peste plai.
\nE-n aer porumbelul, tunul tace,
\niar noi plutim pe valul de m\u0103lai.<\/p>\n

P.S.
\nDe m\u0103-ntreba\u021bi de titlu, e-o-ntrebare
\nce nu m\u0103 face s\u0103 v\u0103 spun dec\u00e2t
\nc-a\u0219a fu tema, \u0219tie ori\u0219icare.
\nE vorba doar de Fake \u0219i at\u00e2t.<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div>\n

\n
<\/div>\nGura lumii<\/strong>
\n
<\/div>\n\u00cen cr\u00e2\u0219ma veche stam, cu lumea roat\u0103,
\nla masa de placaj, aghesmuit
\n\u0219i nu credeam, \u00ee\u021bi jur, s\u0103 se mai poat\u0103
\ns\u0103-\u021bi povestesc chiar tot ce-am auzit.<\/p>\n

C\u0103 multe \u0219tiri venit-au despre tine \u2013
\ndin urma ta, ca marele alai
\nce-l poart\u0103 doar alaiul de regine
\ndin basmele p\u00e2rdalnicilor crai.<\/p>\n

C-ai fost cu unu`, Nae Buburuz\u0103,
\nsetos \u0219i \u00eembibat ca un buret,
\nce n-a mai pus de-atunci alco`l pe buz\u0103
\n\u0219i-a disp\u0103rut deloc f.f. \u00eencet.<\/p>\n

De-un altu`, mister Relu Trotinet\u0103,
\ndin deal, cu pantalonul \u0219ifonat,
\nse-aude-acum c\u0103-i dung\u0103, doar, de cret\u0103,
\npe-asfaltu` gri, de c\u00e2t mi l-ai c\u0103lcat.<\/p>\n

C-ai stat ca-n rai cu nenea \u021aop\u0103il\u0103
\n\u0219i-at\u00e2t de mult c-un m\u0103r l-ai \u00eendopat,
\nc\u0103-i azi, din el, doar bustul de argil\u0103
\npe care p\u0103s\u0103ri s-au\u2026 aglomerat.<\/p>\n

C-ai fost la tei cu Gore Burebista,
\nte-a tot plimbat c-o Dacie prin cr\u00e2ng,
\niar azi \u00eel \u0219terg copiii, cu batista,
\ndin poza de pe cruce \u0219i \u00eel pl\u00e2ng.<\/p>\n

C\u0103, martor e-un pifan, maiorul Mura
\nte-a dus la tras cu arma-n poligon
\n\u0219i-i azi erou, udat cu pic\u0103tura,
\nla monument, \u00een schimburi, de planton.<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>

\n
<\/div>\n

C\u0103 Jan Costello, Zane Barbanera,
\nFitil \u021auicaru, Nic\u0103 Zuc\u0103nberg,
\n\u021bi-au fost \u0219i ei \u0219i al\u021bii-ai mamei Terra,
\niar ast\u0103zi nu-s \u0219i urme li se \u0219terg.<\/p>\n

Am pl\u00e2ns un pic, \u00een barba mea regal\u0103,
\nde-aceste ve\u0219ti ce tare m-au m\u00e2hnit\u2026
\nRegina mea s\u0103 fie-o criminal\u0103?
\nUn gol aveam \u00een pieptu-mi de granit.<\/p>\n

Dar slav\u0103, Doamne, \u021aie, c\u00e2nd spre cas\u0103
\nam dat s\u0103 plec, cu sprijin pe pere\u021bi,
\nv\u0103zut-am \u00eentr-un col\u021b, c\u00e2nt\u00e2nd, la mas\u0103
\nto\u021bi pomeni\u021bii,-n grupul de glume\u021bi. <\/p>\n

Strigau m\u0103sc\u0103ri \u00een vers (de umplutur\u0103)
\nde r\u0103suna \u00eentreg restaurant,
\nc\u00e2nd am trecut, r\u00e2deau f\u0103r\u0103 m\u0103sur\u0103
\n\u0219i m\u0103 priveau cumva insinuant.<\/p>\n

M-am lini\u0219tit de-acum, iar via\u021ba-i roz\u0103,
\na\u0219tept s\u0103 vii, cu-n re`nviat fior,
\n\u0219i-n ciuda suspiciunii de artroz\u0103
\ns\u0103 ne iubim, picior peste picior.<\/p>\n

C\u0103 gura lumii-i gur\u0103\u2026 nes\u0103tul\u0103
\n\u00een m\u0103cinarea marilor prostii,
\niar parte dac\u0103 n-ai de-un pic de hul\u0103,
\ne ca \u0219i cum degeaba ai tr\u0103i.<\/p>\n

A\u0219a c\u0103 hai, iubito,-n alte spa\u021bii,
\ns\u0103 nu ne dibuiasc\u0103 paparazzi\u2026<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div>\n

\n
<\/div>\nVesti – povesti<\/strong>
\n
<\/div>\nConcursul s-a sf\u00e2r\u0219it, a\u0219tept s\u0103 sune
\nun om din juriu, ori vreun barosan,
\ns\u0103-mi spun\u0103 c-am un premiu grandoman
\nori chiar \u0219i-o am\u0103r\u00e2t\u0103 men\u021biune.<\/p>\n

S\u0103 m\u0103 f\u0103lesc \u0219i eu cotidian,
\ns\u0103 fiu tratat ca ultima minune
\nce se revars\u0103-n versuri \u0219i compune
\ncu un talent de suprap\u0103m\u00e2ntean,<\/p>\n

am dat trohei, dactili \u0219i rime, rune,
\nto\u021bi iambii, amfibrahi din geamantan,
\ndin anape\u0219tii calului b\u0103lan
\ntrimis-am cel pu\u021bin o legiune.<\/p>\n

M-am dat de\u0219tept ca un olimpian,
\nori guru-n prozodie,-n ac\u021biune,
\nam dat orice, oric\u00e2t \u0219i-o rug\u0103ciune
\npe l\u00e2ng\u0103 cardul ultimului ban.<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>

\n
<\/div>\n

Promis-am loc de vis la pensiune,
\no lun\u0103 de pe cer \u0219i-un deltaplan,
\nun car cu boi \u0219i-un Pegas ortoman,
\nun chio\u0219c \u00een rai \u0219i-o min\u0103 cu c\u0103rbune,<\/p>\n

g\u0103le\u021bi cu vin, hambarul dolofan
\ncu gr\u00e2u, porumb \u0219i-o televiziune,
\nun r\u0103s\u0103rit \u0219i-un col\u021b de soare-apune,
\no piramid\u0103-n plai fenician\u2026<\/p>\n

N-am dat, v\u0103 jur, nici vreo promisiune
\n\u0219i nici de-un dar n-a\u0219 \u0219ti c-am dat s\u0103 zic,
\na fost o \u0219tire fals\u0103, doar pe bune<\/p>\n

a\u0219 fi putut un premiu s\u0103-l ridic.
\nDe-acum e clar, cu mult\u0103-afec\u021biune,
\nv\u0103 spun cinstit: N-am c\u00e2\u0219tigat nimic\u2026. <\/p>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div>\n

\n

2nd Prize – Teodora Pascale<\/h2>\n

Moto: “ALA BALA PORTOCALA”<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u0218TIRISTUL<\/strong>
\nRondel
\nSunt colec\u021bionar de informa\u021bii,
\n\u00cen “surse” cred, chiar f\u0103r\u0103 s\u0103 verific,
\nCu b\u00e2rfele-s la zi, m\u0103 identific,
\n\u0218tiu despre zodii, vip-uri, combina\u021bii.<\/p>\n

Azi n-am s\u0103 ies, programul mi-l modific,
\nC\u0103ci am conjunc\u021bii proaste-n constela\u021bii;
\nSunt colec\u021bionar de informa\u021bii,
\n\u00cen surse cred, chiar dac\u0103 nu verific.<\/p>\n

Vecinele se-ntrec s\u0103-mi intre-n gra\u021bii
\nS\u0103 facem schimb de \u0219tiri \u0219i e magnific –
\nC\u00e2nd pun \u0219i fumigene ori mistific,
\nLa g\u00e2ndul c\u0103 se prind, am palpita\u021bii.<\/p>\n

Sunt colec\u021bionar de informa\u021bii\u2026<\/p>\n

\n
<\/div>\nANCHET\u0102 JURNALISTIC\u0102 DE SUCCES<\/strong>
\n
<\/div>\n\u00cen micul studio, moderatorul,
\nCe-\u0219i spune “namb\u0103r oan” \u0219i “oratorul”,
\nCu invita\u021bi ale\u0219i la nimereal\u0103 –
\nLing\u0103i politici, buni de flec\u0103real\u0103,
\nS\u0103 nu \u00eel eclipseze pe el, starul –
\nAnun\u021b\u0103: “Subiect – Pensionarul.
\nProblema lui ne macin\u0103 \u0219i-i grav\u0103” –
\nRoste\u0219te, cu o voce cam g\u00e2ngav\u0103 –
\n“Nu c\u0103 a\u0219 vrea s\u0103 bag cu\u021bitu-n ran\u0103,
\nDa-s intrigat s\u0103 \u0219tiu cum poate: – hran\u0103,
\nImpozite, medicamente, toate
\nFacturile, at\u00e2t de piperate
\n\u0218i altele, ce i-au umplut samarul –
\nPl\u0103ti \u0219i chiar la timp, Pensionarul?”
\n“P\u0103i, da”, mai zice altul, “vara asta,
\nPe-a\u0219a o criz\u0103, eu \u0219i cu nevasta,
\nNe-am str\u00e2mtorat, chiar am v\u00e2ndut o vil\u0103,<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>
\n
<\/div>\nCe-i drept, era cam veche, inutil\u0103
\n\u0218i trei ma\u0219ini, o spun cu tot regretul,
\nC\u0103ci iahtul ne-a sec\u0103tuit bugetul.
\n\u00centreb acum \u0219i z\u0103u c\u0103-s foc \u0219i par\u0103,
\nCum de-i ajunge ast\u0103 pensioar\u0103
\nCe \u00eei \u00eencape-ntr-un c\u0103u\u0219 de m\u00e2n\u0103
\n\u0218i, culmea, vreo doi lei s\u0103-i mai r\u0103m\u00e2n\u0103?!”
\n“E lucru necurat aicea, frate!
\nCu-at\u00e2tea greut\u0103\u021bi ce poart\u0103-n spate,
\nB\u0103tr\u00e2n, bolnav, z\u00e2mbe\u0219te \u0219i viseaz\u0103”…
\n“Pe-ascuns, e clar, vreo lege eludeaz\u0103!”
\nConcluzioneaz\u0103 gazda TV-rist\u0103,
\nElogiat de ga\u0219ca-i traseist\u0103.<\/p>\n

Dinspre guvern, un breaking news baban:
\n“V-am dat prea multe pensii \u00eentr-un an –
\nSe-aprob\u0103 numai \u0219ase, oameni buni,
\nLe ve\u021bi primi din dou\u0103-n dou\u0103 luni”.<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div>\n

\n
<\/div>\nFAKE THINGS<\/strong>
\n
<\/div>\n

Pofti\u021bi la “Pr\u0103v\u0103lia cu de toate”
\nDin t\u00e2rgul marilor de\u0219ert\u0103ciuni,
\nAvem ni\u0219te produse c\u0103utate
\nDar sta\u021bi la r\u00e2nd, c\u0103 nu sunte\u021bi nebuni!<\/p>\n

G\u0103si\u021bi proptele pentru cei culpabili,
\n\u00cen\u0103lbitor dosare de corup\u021bi
\nOri fe\u021be de bonomi \u0219i de amabili
\n\u0218i gheare lungi, s\u0103 sf\u00e2\u0219ii c\u00e2nd te lup\u021bi.<\/p>\n

V\u0103 oferim un set de fumigene,
\nDe \u00een politic\u0103 o s\u0103 intra\u021bi
\n\u0218i invita\u021bii seara, la Antene,
\nS\u0103 bate\u021bi c\u00e2mpii, cu ceilal\u021bi confra\u021bi.<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>

\n
<\/div>\n

\u00cenchiriem, cu ora, partenere –
\nS\u0103 te f\u0103le\u0219ti, \u00een lume c\u00e2nd te duci –
\nTe-ajut\u0103 s\u0103 te ca\u021beri la putere
\nDe\u0219i, \u00een fond, sunt ni\u0219te matracuci.<\/p>\n

Tot contra cost, noi d\u0103m \u0219i consultan\u021b\u0103:
\n“Din fondurile U.E. cum ciupim?”
\nFii relaxat, c\u0103 n-ajungi \u00een instan\u021b\u0103 –
\nDe sus \u00een jos, pe to\u021bi \u00eei mituim.<\/p>\n

Mai \u021binem, pe un raft, onestitate,
\nE pentru cei ce se doresc mai buni,
\nDar nimeni dup\u0103 d\u00e2nsa nu se bate\u2026
\nPofti\u021bi la t\u00e2rg, c-avem de\u0219ert\u0103ciuni!<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div>\n

\n

3’rd Prize – Grigore Chitul<\/h2>\n

Moto: “Asul de trefl\u0103”<\/strong><\/p>\n

\n
<\/div>\nCu susu-n jos<\/strong>
\n
<\/div>\nPrivesc oripilat televizorul,
\n\u00cen timp ce-un tip se chinuie s\u0103 spun\u0103
\nC\u0103 indivizi ce par pica\u0163i din lun\u0103
\nCur\u00e2nd vor pune pe P\u0103m\u00e2nt piciorul.<\/p>\n

Aceast\u0103 \u015ftire a creat furtun\u0103,
\nExtratere\u015ftrii-au \u00eengrozit poporul
\nCe sper\u0103 ca m\u0103car invadatorul
\nUn pre\u0163 mai mic, la gaz metan, s\u0103 pun\u0103.<\/p>\n

\u00cencremeni\u0163i \u00een lunga a\u015fteptare
\nAfl\u0103m c-apocalipsa-i iminent\u0103
\nDar \u015fi c\u0103 \u015ftirea nu e concludent\u0103,
\nC\u0103ci doi parapanti\u015fti cu casc\u0103 mare
\nCe n-au o exprimare coerent\u0103
\nSunt du\u015fi, pe sus, din pom la o Salvare.<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>

\n
<\/div>\nPrecau\u0163ie<\/strong>
\n
<\/div>\n

S-a spus recent la \u015ftiri c\u0103 o omid\u0103,
\n\u00cen mod suspect g\u0103sit\u0103 decedat\u0103
\nPe-un ram de prun, a fost intoxicat\u0103
\nCu \u0163uica scurs\u0103 dintr-o crisalid\u0103.<\/p>\n

De-atunci eu nu m\u0103n\u00e2nc dec\u00e2t salat\u0103,
\nLeurd\u0103, bame, praz \u015fi conopid\u0103,
\nIar ca desert accept doar o stafid\u0103
\nCe-a fost cu biocid atent sp\u0103lat\u0103.<\/p>\n

Sunt cam lihnit, dar spaima mea morbid\u0103
\nDe \u201eE\u201d-uri \u015fi m\u00e2ncare injectat\u0103
\n\u00cemi d\u0103 puterea s\u0103 mai rabd o dat\u0103,
\nS\u0103 rumeg stoic hrana insipid\u0103
\nAt\u00e2t de mult, pe \u201enet\u201d, recomandat\u0103,
\nChiar de-o s-ajung ca o efemerid\u0103.<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div>\n

<\/div>\nEvolu\u0163ionism<\/strong>
\n
<\/div>\n

S-a scris \u00een pres\u0103 cum c\u0103 o g\u0103in\u0103
\nAr fi n\u0103scut pui vii, cu patru labe,
\nDe-au le\u015finat subit vreo dou\u0103 babe,
\nTrezite greu de SMURD cu-adrenalin\u0103.<\/p>\n

Au fost \u015fi comentarii mai neghioabe
\nG\u0103sindu-se, la urm\u0103, chiar \u015fi-o vin\u0103:
\n\u201eE clar, galinaceea-adulterin\u0103
\nA tras pe nas, \u00een loc s\u0103-nghit\u0103 boabe!\u201d<\/p>\n

Stresat, \u00een fata cripticei dileme,
\nM\u0103 uit la \u015ftiri \u015fi azi cu mare fric\u0103,
\nDe\u015fi au \u00eenceput s\u0103 se dezic\u0103
\nDe fantasmagoriile extreme,
\nC\u0103ci clo\u015fca \u00eenfiase de o vreme,
\nDe fapt, cinci pui pierdu\u0163i de o pisic\u0103.<\/div>\n

\n

1st Mention – Maria Chirtoac\u0103<\/h2>\n

Moto: “Ha! Hi!”<\/strong><\/p>\n

<\/div>\nComent\u00e2nd o \u0219tire<\/strong>
\n(Rondel)
\n
<\/div>\nPresa scrie \u2013 o scorneal\u0103 \u2013
\nC\u0103 m-a dus de nas nevasta
\n\u0218i c-un om bogat m\u0103-n\u0219al\u0103.
\nEu nu cred nimic \u0219i basta!<\/p>\n

Dar m\u0103 ia cu ame\u021beal\u0103
\nDac\u0103 m\u0103 g\u00e2ndesc la asta:
\nPresa scrie \u2013 o scorneal\u0103 \u2013
\nC\u0103 m-a dus de nas nevasta.<\/p>\n

\u00cens\u0103 nu-i aici n\u0103pasta:
\nDe f\u0103cea cu el tocmeal\u0103,
\nSe-alegea cu vil\u0103, proasta
\n\u0218i aveam o socoteal\u0103. <\/p>\n

Presa scrie, da-i scorneal\u0103!…<\/p>\n

<\/div>\nScrisoare presei<\/strong>
\n(Sonet)<\/p>\n

Ciudate \u0219tiri din pres\u0103 m\u0103 fr\u0103m\u00e2nt\u0103,
\nAud c\u0103 mor vitejii sub creneluri
\n\u0218i case ard \u0219i lacrimi nu se zv\u00e2nt\u0103,
\nDe-aceea fabric arme din o\u021beluri.<\/p>\n

Cum \u0219i TV-ul ast\u0103zi ne-nsp\u0103im\u00e2nt\u0103,
\nEu vreau s\u0103 ap\u0103r lumea de m\u0103celuri,
\nR\u0103zboiul, dragi prieteni, nu m\u0103-nc\u00e2nt\u0103,
\nDec\u00e2t profit de el \u00een multe feluri.<\/p>\n

\u0218i c\u00e2nd \u00een lume fiara asta vine
\n\u0218i iar aduce-n jurul lui belele,
\nEu sar \u00een lupt\u0103-a\u0219a cum se cuvine.<\/p>\n

Cu for\u021ba mea v\u0103 pot feri de rele,
\nMereu iau partea celor slabi, da-i bine
\nS\u0103 am ceva folos din toate cele!…<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n\u0218tirea fals\u0103<\/strong>
\n(Triolet)
\n
<\/div>\n

\u0218tirea fals\u0103 vine, pleac\u0103,
\n\u00cens\u0103 damful ei persist\u0103
\nDac\u0103 nu o faci s\u0103 tac\u0103.
\n\u0218tirea fals\u0103 vine, pleac\u0103
\n\u0218i n-o ui\u021bi prea iute dac\u0103
\nNu-\u021bi \u021bii nasul \u00een batist\u0103.
\n\u0218tirea fals\u0103 vine, pleac\u0103,
\n\u00cens\u0103 damful ei persist\u0103…
<\/div>\n

\n

1st Mention – Petre Ion Florin Vasilescu<\/h2>\n

Moto: “Pseudokinegetikos”<\/strong><\/p>\n

<\/div>\nCHIBI\u021a LA NA\u0218TEREA UNEI LEGI<\/strong>
\n
<\/div>\n

Am dat, dar nu spun cum, de-un document,
\nStrunjit \u00eentr-o comisie anume,
\nFormat\u0103 strict din membri-n parlament
\nSau \u00een guvern, de-aiurea, de prin lume …<\/p>\n

Aveau ca scop ale\u0219ii, s\u0103 dezbat\u0103
\n\u0218i ca dintr-un dic\u021bionar s\u0103 spun\u0103
\nCe este o minciun\u0103 gogonat\u0103,
\nOri de-i prea greu, ce este o minciun\u0103!<\/p>\n

Erau de trebuin\u021b\u0103, se-n\u021belege,
\nAceste chei, solu\u021bii \u0219i proptele,
\nS\u0103 mai cloceasc\u0103 neamului o lege \u2013
\nCu biruri \u0219i amenzi pe minciunele!<\/p>\n

Cum nu prea vreau, stimabili cititori,
\nS\u0103 m-acuza\u021bi c-a\u0219 face pe nebunul,
\nTraduc ce-au zis distin\u0219ii vorbitori,
\nCu gura din dotare \u2013 c\u00e2te unul:<\/p>\n

\u201eEu sunt, m\u0103 \u0219ti\u021bi, mai cult, bisericos,
\nTot blestem diavole\u0219tile minciuni,
\nUrmez doar drumul just, simandicos,
\n\u0218i-am str\u00e2ns pios averi, cu-n\u0219el\u0103ciuni!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201eIo-s \u00eenc\u0103 t\u00e2n\u0103r, duc o via\u021b\u0103 bun\u0103,
\nDar z\u0103bovesc ades pe la farfuze
\n\u0218i-mi amu\u021besc nevasta cu-o minciun\u0103,
\nC\u00e2nd m-a g\u0103bjit \u0219i d\u0103 m\u0103runt din buze!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201eSunt un pescar \u0219i v\u00e2n\u0103tor sportiv
\nLicen\u021biat, dar \u0219ti\u021bi cum se vorbe\u0219te,
\nC\u0103 noi turn\u0103m gogo\u0219i, laudativ,
\nCu leii str\u00e2n\u0219i sau cu balena-pe\u0219te!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201eEu spun pe \u0219leau, c\u00e2nd nu sunt \u0219efi de fa\u021b\u0103,
\nDoar adev\u0103ru-n plesnet de cuvinte …
\nNu pot min\u021bi, c\u0103-s urgisit pe via\u021b\u0103
\nS\u0103 n-am un strop de \u021binere de minte!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201eSunt ghem de nervi, c\u00e2nd la televizor,
\nTo\u021bi mint de-nghea\u021b\u0103 pu\u021bul, permanent,
\nC\u0103 noi dormim sau ne caftim de zor,
\n\u00cen l\u0103b\u0103r\u021batul nostru parlament!\u201d <\/p>\n

\u201eMinciuna e din veac otr\u0103vitoare,
\nAceasta este \u0219i p\u0103rerea mea,
\nDar doar pentru popor, c\u0103 unde oare,
\nE-o nad\u0103 mai tentant\u0103 dec\u00e2t ea?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u00cen goana dup\u0103 voturi, dispera\u021bi,
\nPrin mahalale \u0219i-n emisiuni
\nTV, ce m\u0103iestrit expectora\u021bi
\nBra\u0219oave g\u00e2rl\u0103, ca promisiuni!<\/p>\n

\u201eDom\u2019pre\u0219edinte, sincer, ne jigni\u021bi,
\nChiar \u0219i mi\u0219toul are un hotar …
\nDar dumneavoastr\u0103, nu mai rugini\u021bi,
\nDe trei decenii, tot parlamentar?\u201d<\/p>\n

S\u0103 nu te iei de mine, b\u0103i \u021b\u0103rane
\nCe e\u0219ti, un ho\u021b \u0219i-un delapidator;
\nC\u00e2nd eu tronam prin func\u021bii barosane,
\nTu stai c-o vac\u0103-n c\u00e2mp, ca sug\u0103tor!<\/p>\n

Minciuna, zic, pe-un muribund l-alint\u0103,
\nPreschimb\u0103-ntr-o vestal\u0103 o cocot\u0103,
\nSe-ndeas\u0103 \u0219i-un nevinovat s\u0103 mint\u0103 \u2013
\nSt\u00e2lcit de-anchetatori pentru o iot\u0103!<\/p>\n

Propun s\u0103 \u00eencheiem aici gargara,
\nS\u0103 trecem la concluzii cu minciuna,
\nS\u0103 pricopsim cu \u00eenc-o lege \u021bara,
\nC\u0103 mie, v\u0103 spun drept, \u00eemi e totuna …<\/p>\n

\u201eIn corpore\u201d, legal, s\u0103 paraf\u0103m
\nO hot\u0103r\u00e2re pentru totdeauna:
\nCum cinstea \u0219i dreptatea salvgard\u0103m \u2013
\nO fake news merge, dar blam\u0103m minciuna!<\/p>\n

<\/div>\nSENZA\u021aIONAL, SF\u00c2R\u0218ITUL LUMII!<\/strong><\/p>\n

O veste-ngrozitoare umbl\u0103-n lume:
\nDin cosmosul imens, f\u0103r-de hotare,
\nUn meteor \u2013 necunoscut, dar tare \u2013
\nNe va lovi \u00eentr-un r\u0103stimp anume …<\/p>\n

Deruta e de-acum, pustiitoare \u2013
\nSavan\u021bii spun c\u0103 nu e loc de glume,
\nGuvernele nu \u0219tiu cum s\u0103 \u00eendrume
\nPopoarele-n delir \u0219i desperare …<\/p>\n

Izbe\u0219te solul mor\u021bii, blestematul,
\nOceanu-nghite ca-n co\u0219mar uscatul
\n\u0218i tot ce-i viu, dispare \u00een genune …<\/p>\n

Vulcanii scuip\u0103 foc ce devasteaz\u0103 …
\nDoar un operator cu s\u00e2rg filmeaz\u0103 \u2013
\nNoi fake news pentru-o televiziune!<\/p>\n

<\/div>\nAPOLOGIA UNUI NEOLOGISM<\/strong><\/p>\n

Am prins un job de fal\u0103, \u00een televiziune,
\nLa un patron \u0219i mentor cu-o nou\u0103 viziune
\nDespre reclame, \u0219tiri, campanii de votare,
\nDezm\u0103\u021b …\u0219i milioane, ce-i sar \u00een buzunare!<\/p>\n

Dac\u0103 se isc\u0103-n lume vr-un pui de t\u0103r\u0103boi,
\nVorbim cu ochii-n lacrimi de-atomicul r\u0103zboi
\nCe face praf av\u00e2ntul v\u0103dit de demnitari,
\nS-adauge-o b\u0103ncu\u021b\u0103 la bie\u021bi pensionari!<\/p>\n

Dac-un distins Ferrari se suie pe trotuar,
\nNoi d\u0103m pe post carnagii, cortegiul mortuar,
\nCoroane, popi, co\u0219ciuge, schilozi, copii orfani,
\nIar la patron se-ngroap\u0103 \u201epomana\u201d de la fani …<\/p>\n

C\u00e2nd divele ce c\u00e2nt\u0103 la nun\u021bi \u00een cartier,
\nVr\u0103jesc vreun suporter cu fi\u021be de boier,
\nDe pe platoul nostru spre glorie \u021b\u00e2\u0219nesc,
\nIar mun\u021bi de bani seiful \u0219tiut, \u00eel n\u0103p\u0103desc!<\/p><\/div>\n

\n

2nd Mention – Daria Dumescu<\/h2>\n

Moto: “Z\u00e2mbete str\u00e2mbe”<\/strong><\/p>\n

<\/div>\n FAKE NEWS LA V\u00c2RSTA A TREIA<\/strong>
\n
<\/div>\nM\u0103-nv\u00e2rteje\u0219te capul, chiar \u0219i g\u00e2ndul,
\n\u00cemi \u021biuie urechile cu r\u00e2ndul
\nP\u00e2n` pensia m\u0103rit\u0103 mi-o vor da,
\nMi-e tare team\u0103 c\u0103 voi deceda.
\n………………………………………………
\n\u0218i-avu dreptate c\u0103, fiind de partea
\nAcestor g\u00e2nduri, se-nt\u00e2lni cu Moartea
\nCe-l scoase dintr-o agitat\u0103 soart\u0103
\n\u0218i poposi la Sf\u00e2ntul Petru-n poart\u0103.<\/p>\n

C\u00e2nd \u00eel v\u0103zu sfios m\u0103ritul sf\u00e2nt,
\nC\u0103 e-mpietrit, nu scoate un cuv\u00e2nt,
\n\u00cel m\u00e2ng\u00e2ie pe t\u00e2mpla lui cea st\u00e2ng\u0103
\n\u0218i-atunci b\u0103tr\u00e2nul \u00eencepu s\u0103 pl\u00e2ng\u0103.<\/p>\n

-Eu pl\u00e2ng, sfin\u021bia ta, \u0219i pl\u00e2ng amarnic;
\nGuvernul devenise-a\u0219a de darnic…
\n\u0218i ne-a promis la to\u021bi un trai bogat
\nTaman acum c\u00e2nd Moartea m-a luat!<\/p>\n

-\u0218tiu, fiule, ave\u021bi firi prea docile,
\nIar ei v\u0103 p\u0103c\u0103lesc de ani de zile;
\nNu-\u021bi par\u0103 r\u0103u, nici nu mai sta mofluz,
\nC\u0103-n lumea voastr\u0103, toate sunt Fake News!<\/p>\n

<\/div>\nFAKE NEWS… DE NICI O BR\u00c2NZ\u0102<\/strong>
\n
<\/div>\nS\u0103 cumperi ca\u0219 \u00een pia\u021b\u0103 e-o mare dandanaie;
\nCiobanul, mi se pare a fi mereu confuz.
\nSus\u021bine c\u0103 tot ca\u0219u-i din lapte de la oaie
\nF\u0103cut, dar lumea \u0219tie c\u0103 \u0103sta e Fake News.<\/p>\n

\u0218i nu mai spun c-o bab\u0103 la slujb\u0103,-n Joia Mare
\n\u00cei tot \u0219optea vecinei cam tare de auz,
\nDe sesiz\u0103 \u0219i popa cum c\u0103, \u00een galantare,
\nSe vinde ca\u0219ul ieftin \u0219i, iat\u0103-un alt Fake News!<\/p>\n

C\u00e2nd pe ciobanul h\u00e2tru \u00eel \u00eentreb\u0103 amabil
\nDe zvonul ce-l aflase f\u0103c\u00e2nd, fire\u0219te, uz,
\nNu ezit\u0103 br\u00e2nzarul a fi dezagreabil
\nSpun\u00e2nd \u00een fa\u021b\u0103 popii c\u0103 nu-i dec\u00e2t… Fake News.
\nP\u0103rintele-n bl\u00e2nde\u021bea-i ce-o are de o vreme,
\nAmenin\u021b\u0103 cu iadul ca orice om mofluz
\n\u0218i-a\u0219a ciobanul prinse haioasele blesteme
\nCe puse pe facebook-uri nu sunt dec\u00e2t Fake News.
\n…………………………………………………………………
\n\u0218i-acum, de trag concluzii, nu vreau s\u0103 v\u0103 \u00eenfurii
\n\u0218i nici nu vreau ca gestu-mi s\u0103 par\u0103 un abuz,
\nDar versurile-acestea-s motive pentru jurii
\nDe-a-mi acorda un premiu! Iar \u0103sta-i, clar Fake News!…<\/p>\n

<\/div>\nFAKE NEWS \u00ceN MEDIUL RURAL<\/strong>
\n
<\/div>\nNici vara mo\u0219 Vasile c\u0103ciula nu \u0219i-o las\u0103;
\nSe sprijin\u0103 de poart\u0103, se uit\u0103 peste gard,
\nAr vrea s\u0103 bat\u0103 drumul, s\u0103 nu mai stea acas\u0103,
\nC\u0103 inima \u00eei pl\u00e2nge \u0219i patimile-l ard.<\/p>\n

De la nepot aude-o fanfar\u0103 pe Tik Tok;
\nFecior se vede iar\u0103, cu g\u00e2ndu-n amintire,
\nC\u00e2nd t\u0103lpile \u00een hor\u0103 nu-i mai st\u0103teau de loc,
\nLe \u00eenv\u00e2rtea pe fete p\u00e2n\u0103-\u0219i ie\u0219eau din fire.<\/p>\n

Dar m\u00e2ndrele de-atuncea acu-s trecute bine
\n\u0218i au probleme multe de v\u0103z \u0219i de auz.
\nC\u00e2nd se-nt\u00e2lnesc la poart\u0103 e greu a se ab\u021bine
\nDe a dezbate aprig cam tot ce e Fake News.<\/p>\n

-Ai auzit, Ilean\u0103, primarul ce-a f\u0103cut?
\nN-a dat la lume gr\u00e2ul, \u0219i \u0103sta-i un abuz.
\nIar mo\u0219ul intervine cu glasu-i cam pierdut:
\n-Ce-at\u00e2ta vorb\u0103rie, nu \u0219ti\u021bi c\u0103 e Fake News?<\/p>\n

A dat \u0219i gr\u00e2u, parale, de toate pentru to\u021bi;
\nChiar eu acum cinci zile luat-am cucuruz,
\n\u0218i nu mai sta\u021bi aiurea, c\u0103 dac\u0103 le soco\u021bi,
\nPalavrele acestea nu sunt dec\u00e2t… Fake News!<\/p>\n

-Vorbe\u0219ti tr\u0103sn\u0103i, Vasile, damblaua te-a lovit
\n\u0218i vede toat\u0103 lumea c-ai devenit confuz;
\nAi fi luat \u00een urm\u0103 cu ani ce-ai pomenit,
\nAcuma, \u00eens\u0103, vorba ce-o sco\u021bi e tot Fake News!<\/p>\n

\u0218i ca s\u0103-nchei cu-o strof\u0103 tocmit\u0103 \u00een silabe
\nC\u0103 timpul trece-aiurea \u0219i treaba mi-o \u00eencurc\u0103,
\nS\u0103 fi\u021bi convin\u0219i c\u0103-oriunde se-adun\u0103 mo\u0219i \u0219i babe,
\nFake News-ul, ca \u0219i vinul, le d\u0103 stuchit la furc\u0103!<\/p><\/div>\n

\n

3rd Mention – Sanda Nicucie<\/h2>\n

Moto: “trenul vine, gara nu”<\/strong><\/p>\n

<\/div>\n Numai un pic…<\/strong>
\n
<\/div>\nCircul\u0103 prin t\u00e2rguri b\u00e2rfa c\u0103 \u0163i-ai luat o fat\u0103 mare
\nCu cosi\u0163ele-aurite \u015fi picioare p\u00e2n\u0103-n g\u00e2t.
\nC\u0103 \u00eei cumperi ciocolat\u0103 \u015fi-o sco\u0163i zilnic la plimbare
\nBa cu tico, ba cu skoda, ba c-ai fi nehot\u0103r\u00e2t,
\nBa c\u0103 n-ai habar de ni\u2019ca \u015fi nu e\u015fti \u00een pas cu moda.<\/p>\n

Circul\u0103 prin t\u00e2rguri b\u00e2rfa c\u0103 o faci mereu mai lat\u0103
\n\u015ei cureaua nu-\u0163i mai \u0163ine, ci doar fata de ur\u00e2t.
\nC-ai urcat \u00een \u015fur\u0103 baba \u015fi o \u0163ii de-atunci legat\u0103
\nCu trei fire de lucern\u0103 \u00eenvechite c\u00e2t de c\u00e2t,
\nBa c\u0103 n-ai noroc de-acuma \u015fi \u00ee\u0163i pl\u00e2ngi de mil\u0103-n pern\u0103. <\/p>\n

\u00cens\u0103, ast\u0103zi diminea\u0163\u0103 c\u00e2nd st\u0103team \u00een b\u0103t\u0103tur\u0103
\n\u015ei g\u00e2ndeam la ale mele ciugulind dejunul mic,
\nAm aflat de la b\u0103bu\u0163a, ce venea direct din \u015fur\u0103,
\nC\u0103 n-a fost dec\u00e2t o b\u00e2rf\u0103 \u015fi-adev\u0103r numai un pic…
\nC\u0103 \u0163i-ai luat o fat\u0103 mare, ce-i doar mare… \u015fi at\u00e2t.<\/p>\n

<\/div>\nPandeminciuni (rondel)<\/strong>
\n
<\/div>\nEu voi pleca s\u0103-mi caut liliac,
\nSunt ast\u0103zi ca o floare-ntr-o stelu\u021b\u0103,
\nTrimis-ai ve\u0219ti pe mess c\u0103-\u021bi sunt pe plac,
\nC\u0103 m\u0103 iube\u0219ti, c\u0103-s tr\u0103snet de dr\u0103gu\u021b\u0103,<\/p>\n

C-om fi al\u0103turi ca un \u021bac \u0219i pac,
\nCa pixu-n unghii, m\u00e2na \u00een m\u00e2nu\u021b\u0103.
\nEu voi pleca s\u0103-mi caut liliac,
\nSunt ast\u0103zi ca o floare-ntr-o stelu\u021b\u0103.<\/p>\n

Mi-e dor de tine, pui de cotcodac,
\nCoco\u0219ul meu cu p\u0103rul periu\u021b\u0103
\n\u0218i vin mai iute. Intru-n cas\u0103. Tac.<\/p>\n

O nebunie. Jaf. Manele (Gu\u021b\u0103).
\nM-apuc\u0103 variola \u0219i-o s\u0103 zac.
\n\u00cen pat e\u0219ti tu c-o blond\u0103, o\u2026 maimu\u021b\u0103!<\/p>\n

Eu voi pleca s\u0103-mi caut liliac\u2026<\/p>\n

<\/div>\nBalada caprei<\/strong>
\n
<\/div>\nEra pe dealuri un p\u0103stor
\nCe-avea tarla cu mur\u0103,
\nMai multe oi, berbec major
\n\u015ei-o capr\u0103-avea cultur\u0103. <\/p>\n

Frumoas\u0103 foc cum alta nu-i
\nCu mul\u0163i ciulini \u00een blan\u0103,
\nUn ochi maro, altul verzui
\n\u015ei-n pulpe dolofan\u0103. <\/p>\n

Era din neamul cel de soi
\nCu m\u00e2ndre coarne-n sus;
\n(umbla o vorb\u0103 printre oi-
\nca \u0163apul i le-a pus). <\/p>\n

Scria sonete, c\u00e2te vrei
\nScria-n jurnal de toate.
\nPe \u015eecspir \u015fi pe Tomozei
\n-i-avea-n copit\u0103-n-spate. <\/p>\n

P\u0103storul nostru-a\u015fa era
\nDe m\u00e2ndru foarte tare,
\nC\u0103pri\u0163a, dac\u0103 nu pleca
\n\u015ei-anume-n lumea mare.<\/p>\n

Zic unii c\u0103-i pe la Vaslui
\nSau Vrancea \u00een G\u0103ge\u015fti,
\n\u015ei pl\u00e2nge, vai de mama lui,
\nDe nu po\u0163i s\u0103-l opre\u015fti.<\/p>\n

De scris sonete s-a l\u0103sat
\nC\u0103pri\u0163a nu mai scrie,
\nDoar beh\u0103ie pe \u00eenserat
\nDin c\u00e2te-o poezie.<\/p>\n

Iar uneori c\u00e2nd pa\u015fte
\n\u015ei-adulmec\u0103 trifoiu\u2019-
\nAsist\u0103 c\u00e2nd mai na\u015fte\u2026
\nG\u0103ina lui Cristoiu.<\/p><\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":10004,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-10048","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"yoast_head":"\nPoetry winners 2022 - Humour at .... Gura Humorului<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.umorlagurahumorului.ro\/editii\/editia-32-2022\/premianti-poezie-2022\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"[:ro]Premianti poezie 2022[:en] Poetry winners 2022[:] - Humour at .... 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